One Legged Marathon

On Tuesday night the back of my right knee started hurting really bad. In the middle of the night I kept changing between ice and heat to try to at least get to sleep. When my five year old and I got up Wednesday morning and she wasn't feeling too great so after breakfast she was laying on the couch. My leg was hurting but now it was on the front of my upper thigh. I called Gene at work and told him that I was going to call the doctor's office to get an appointment. I called the doctor right after talking to Gene. When I got off of the phone I walked over to the table to do some school work, then suddenly the pain in my leg became excruciating. I was laying over a chair trying to get to my phone. I called Gene and told him to come home that I needed to go to the ER. By the time he got home I thought that I must have a blood clot and literally was dying right there in my living room in front of my sweet baby. She was strangely calm and just kept telling me that Jesus was with me. 
All the way to the hospital the pain was so intense that I could not stop the tears from running down my face. We arrived at the E.R. to find that the hospital was literally overflowing with patients. Some people had been in E.R. rooms for 3 days because there were no other beds empty.  During my 2 hour stint in the waiting room, (could have been worse) I kept thinking that because I hadn't died yet, it seemed that whatever the source of my pain, it  would unlikely be the cause of my demise. However, when I finally was taken back to my own gurney in the hallway, the pain continued to grow worse and I wasn't sure if I was happy or in complete misery at the thoughts that I might live to see another day. 
An aside note of perspective: I am not a person who cries very much. It isn't because I don't care deeply about things, it isn't because I haven't had to deal with pain, it is more because I do deal with pain. Because of a head injury almost 16 years ago, I have found that crying just makes my headaches worse. So the logical thing to keep in mind is, "How bad do you want your head to hurt?" And, "Will I be of any use to anyone if I allow myself to cry?" These private talks make sense in my world!
Back to the privacy of my hallway gurney. By the time the doc stopped by to see me the tears were running a rampage down my face, only to be in competition with the constant stream from my nose. My thoughts were on neither of those things. My thoughts, beside the "I am not going to live through this one" kept going to two things. 
The first was this: "Jesus, the pain that You endured for me was so much more than what I am feeling. You could have stopped it. Yet You endured it for me." 
The second thought was "Jesus, steady my heart for the pain that I am in. Steady my heart."
I hope that this doesn't seem super-spiritual, it is quite the opposite. I was in horrible pain and was seeking, begging for relief. But I have chosen so many times in circumstances of lesser pain to believe that God loves me, has a plan for me, is refining me, and is always faithful, that the longer I live in relationship with the Almighty God, the more I know that He is the only one that I turn to when I am in need. I am so grateful to Him for giving me another day with my family and friends. I am extremely thankful that He has let me live in a time where there is a hospital with physicians and prescription pain meds close to our house. I am most grateful that The God of all creation wants to be in an intimate relationship with me. 
Post script. Even with a second episode and visit to the doctor, they have no idea what is going on. I ask for your prayers. 
Thanks for reading.

Torn Muscles and Enlarged Hearts

Every time I sit to write some thought provoking or at least semi-intelligent blog, I realize that I have no ideas that haven't been already expressed, no joys not previously celebrated, no griefs that are new, no trials that would surprise, no counsel unspoken. While that may leave me at a loss for words it also brings a strange since of comfort. 

I am hopefully nearing the end of my bout with the influenza virus and am finally feeling somewhat human again. This too has been an experience though most unpleasant and filled with moments of being downright painful is not new, and is in light of eternity, very temporary. There are so many things in this life that can be filed in this category: not new, not original, and temporary.

As Solomon says in Ecclesiastes, "There is nothing new under the sun." 

As I have contemplated these thoughts they have reminded me of biology. (That is just the way my mind works!) For those who wish to have a muscular body, there is a process that must happen. For muscles to be "built" they must be torn down first. Not just once but many times. Over and over. Tearing down then building up. What is odd about this process is that with with each tearing there is a new level of strength, of endurance that is built. In order to become a physically strong person, one must be willing to go through the long process of being torn down again and again. 

It is no surprise to find then to become a person of Christlike character a similar process needs to occur. I would guess that in most cases the end result would demand an even longer and more stringent process of tearing down and building up. The tendency of humans, certainly myself, is that with a temporary dose of the process the only thing that gets built is pride. Pride building up is a toxin that given time and freedom destroys its host. However, with trouble, sickness, heartache, loneliness, being misunderstood and other pain, we find that through the "tear down- build up" process our hearts, our souls, can become large. We can learn that there is Someone who has gone before us. One who has known every pain, every heartache, has known loneliness in a way we could never imagine. He, being God in the flesh, Jesus Christ, is in charge of our hearts, if we have given ourselves to Him. He is in charge of our hearts, minds, emotions, our very souls. So with every "tear-down" that He allows to enter our lives, there is a process in action to build us up. A beautiful building of strength and love and compassion that is enlarging our hearts for each other and for those who suffer and are in need. For those lonely and in pain. And with every enlarged heart there is a death-blow dealt to pride because we know that we would never ask for these lessons. They are a gift from the One who sees and knows everything. He knows that while we may see our circumstances as trials, He knows they have been allowed as "strength training."

My encounter with the flu has not been a great trial but it has led me to remember that while I have nothing original going on in my life, God Himself has very unique thoughts and plans for me. And those plans include things that will tear down, build up, strengthen, grow, and enlarge my heart. I will not invite hard things into my life, but I am praying that I will not run from the things that will serve to help me know Christ more intimately. 

                     "But that's not all! We gladly suffer,  because we know that suffering helps us to endure.  And endurance builds character, which gives us a hope  that will never disappoint us. All of this happens because God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fills our hearts with his love." (Romans 5:3-5 CEV) 

I Have

I have known the pain of abuse

I have felt the fear of being alone, even in a crowd

I have known the sadness of being different, of being misunderstood

I have felt what it means to be poor

I have known the anguish of being told there would probably be no children from my womb

I have felt the pain of being betrayed

I have known physical pain and the emotional pain of no diagnosis, no cure

I have felt helpless as I have watched others suffer and grieve

I have known the unconditional love of my husband

I have felt the joy of my children’s births and adoption and entering my life through marriage to my son

I have known the unbelievable, amazing delight of being called mommy and mom

I have felt the unexplainable desire to see someone else succeed even if it means that I lose

I have known what it is to have many friends

I have felt accepted and cared for

I have known the excitement of seeing new places, people, and cultures

I have felt the love of a church family

I have known what it is to have more than I need

I have felt what it is to have friends that I could not fathom my life without

I have known what it is to love deeply people that I rarely see, that live in different states and countries.

I have known the Indescribable love of the Father

I have felt the love that drew me, separated me, died and rose again for me, chose, adopted, redeemed and sealed me for eternity.

That in all these things, I, Kat Cornett would be to the Praise of His Glory! 

Jesus and Rapunzel

When Noelle and I sit down for breakfast or lunch on weekdays there is always something that she wants to spend the entire time talking about. Usually I have to remind her to eat because she becomes so distracted by the conversation. Children, especially young children learn from these early times of conversation as to whether or not they are allowed to ask questions, get answers, or just talk with no real purpose at all except being with mom and/or dad. So I have always tried to let my children talk. When Will was this age he wanted to talk about Legos and baseball. When Hannah was little she wanted to talk about animals and people. Both Will and Hannah would talk with me about the Bible and how they loved Jesus.  They would talk for a while then finished their meal and be off to play.

Having Noelle has been somewhat different. She literally talks all day long. Once she has something on her mind there is no distracting her until she has answers or has worn that conversation out.

Yesterday as we were sitting down for lunch she ask me to pray.  I said that I would but before I could start she said, “Mommy, I want you to ask Jesus in your heart again.”  I told her, “Noelle, we don’t have to ask Jesus into our hearts more than one time. When we ask Him to come into our hearts, forgive us of our sins, He doesn’t ever leave us.”  But she again said, “Mommy, I want you to ask Jesus in your heart just one more time.”  I said, “Noelle, really. The Bible says that once we ask Jesus in our hearts nothing can ever separate us from Him. I really don’t need to ask Him to come into my heart again, He’s already there.”  “Mommy, Please, I just want to hear you ask Jesus into your heart.”  

It was then that I figured out what was going on with my sweet girl. About three weeks ago Noelle had ask Jesus into her heart and now she just needed to be sure that when “it was her turn” to go to heaven (as she says) that I was going to be there too.

So, I prayed and thanked Jesus that He had come into my heart, had forgiven my sin, cleaned my heart, and now lives in my heart until the day it is my turn to go to heaven and live there forever with Him. That was apparently what she needed to hear because when I finished praying she smiled and said , “Mom, do you want to play Rapunzel with me?”

I Look Like Who?

Recently, I have experienced an interesting, if not disturbing phenomena. Several times, more than I would care to admit, while talking to our children and church family my dear husband and I have said the same things at the same time…verbatim. Now don’t get me wrong. I love my husband and have the deepest respect for him. But I never expected that we would be merging into the same personality!

I am quite sure that you, my dear readers have heard of or even seen people that after being married for a long time seem to begin to look alike. Or even more drastic, pet owners who look like their pets. Admittedly this is both amusing and frightening.

Not long ago, as I was doing my Bible study I came across this passage:

2 Corinthians 3: 12-18

^{"Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold.We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to prevent the Israelites from seeing the end of what was passing away. But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away. Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."} 

When Moses spent time alone with God on Mount Sinai receiving the Ten Commandments the Bible says that “he was not aware that his face was radiant (reflecting divine glory) because he had spoken with the Lord.”

Exodus 34:29

Though this was a fading glory it returned each time that he spent time alone with God. In verse 18 of 2 Corinthians 3 the Bible says that we reflect God’s glory because “we are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

This is not fading glory because the Spirit of God resides in us. It is ever-increasing so that we, you and I, are becoming more and more like Christ every day.

In his book, Just like Jesus Max Lucado puts it this way:

“As we walk with God, we take on His thoughts, His principles, His attitudes. We take on His heart.”

This is amazing, incredible news for all of us!

Maybe this means that Gene has not done a “mind-meld” on me, but that as we are growing in our faith and relationship with Jesus Christ, we are both becoming more like Christ and reflecting Him. We are both starting to think, look, and talk like Him.

I certainly hope that is the case for many reasons. One being, I just don’t think that Gene’s head on my body is going to work!

Who do you look like?

A Barn, a '55 Chevy Truck and a Corn Field

I am sitting in our car riding through the mountains of Virginia. I know that there are many people who love to go on vacation with their families but detest the car ride to get to their destination. Not me. I love it. It is actually my favorite part of vacation. I love getting to see the mountains, rolling hills, fields, animals, churches, houses, and old barns. (I have a thing for old barns!) I like seeing Christmas trees, peanuts, corn, tomatoes and all variety of vegetables growing in neat rows. Some big farms and some small, some the size of the row or two that grow in my yard. I love seeing architecture from years past or months past. I like seeing old tractors, old cars, beat up old dump trucks and if I happen to see a ’55 Chevy truck, oh my! (I have a thing for those, too!)

All of these things make it nice to travel by car, but they are not my favorite reason for our trips.

The best part of traveling this way is time. Time with my husband. Time with my children. Time to think and reflect and pray where there are no other things demanding my attention. Time to talk and plan and dream. Time to laugh. Time for listening to “Adventures in Odyssey” and book recordings. 

Our vacations offer something else that we let get squeezed out in our day to day living… quiet. There are sometimes hours of no one speaking at all. We are just being together. Breathing together. Being family. I love that!

I would like to recommend this for every family.  Yes, there are times when we get grouchy and get on each other’s nerves, but it is funny how even those times make the fondest of memories.

No Covert Christianity Here

Several weeks ago our family was invited to have dinner at  one of our church member's home. We started the evening as many dinners do, chatting, laughing and waiting for the meal to be completed. However, soon Gene and I began to notice that we quickly exited normal conversation. As we sat around the table each person began to talk of Jesus. About how their relationship with Him has altered the projection of their lives. They spoke of details of life before God broke through and offered a full, meaningful life. I sat in awe and, though not normally given to public emotion, found tears filling my eyes. There were no grand proclamations of revival in the invitation to dinner, but as the evening progressed from one story of God's grace to the next, I felt the Holy Spirit beginning a symphony of praise and worship that surely was reviving my love and adoration for Jesus. I wondered at the openness, the soul level honesty of these dear people. Then it struck both Gene and myself. We were in the midst of people from other cultures that knew none of our American "political correctness". These amazing believers were just doing what came natural to them. Telling their stories of Christ redeeming love for them. 
As we left to return home that evening, we realized that we were the only two Caucasian people there. We were and are honored at the privilege of being in their presence.
How much we could learn from people of other cultures if we allowed ourselves! Open conversations about our love for Jesus, our indebtedness to His grace, our gratitude for His suffering, our awe at His choosing! 
Oh, Father may it be so! 

"I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High."  Psalm 9:1-2