A Time to Mourn and a Time to Dance

This post was actually written about three weeks ago. I felt that I needed time to process before I posted it. I know that many people go through life changes, so hopefully, prayerfully, this will be of benefit.




Today is my day for grief. It is not that I set it on the calendar, Kat's Grief Day. It just is. In spite of my mind's constant arguing that it is illogical. It still is. 

Let me explain. 

Before we adopted our precious daughter, the Adoption Agency mandated (Thankfully) that we go through classes to help prepare us for adopting. One of these classes was about Loss and Grief.  For every person, there are losses in their life, and they included everything from death of a family member, loosing ability to function as we once did due to aging, loosing relationships. etc... With every loss comes grief. For example... We loose the ability to open a jar without help, then there will be the grief of facing our humanity and inevitable mortality. These concepts are not new, nor morbid, they just are a part of being human. 

For the past several months there have been many changes in my life, in our lives as a family. I am not typically one who minds change. I am convinced in my soul that with every change comes the benefit of knowing God in a new way. Today, in spite of this deep conviction, my heart is set on grieving. 

The process of moving from one place and era of my life has been long, grueling at times, and consumed with activity.  This past Thursday we closed on our former residence and officially moved. We are still living a nomadic existence, waiting on the new house to be finished.  But in the minds of most, including myself, this was a closing of sorts on the old and a beginning of the new. 

Before I continue, let me remind all 6 or 7 of you who read my blog, I am still completely convinced that we are exactly in the place we are supposed to be. However, there has been loss in our lives, my life these past few months. The loss of home. Home, not just the place but the position.  Home,  the place of familiarity. The place of routine. The place of purpose.
There has also been the loss of ministry. I have been one of the worship leaders in our previous church for years. I feel a huge passion for leading 
God's people in authentic worship. I am grieving the loss of that ministry. 
I know that this is a time of being still, of refining. But, it is a loss for me to grieve. I also know deep in my soul that God has designed the human heart. With that heart He has assured me that there is a time for everything, a time to mourn and a time to dance. 
So right now I will grieve the losses and look forward to the time when I can once again celebrate the new adventure that God has for me and my family. 

" There is a time for everything, 
 and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 a time to be born and a time to die,
 a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 a time to kill and a time to heal,
 a time to tear down and a time to build,
 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
 a time to mourn and a time to dance"

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

Blessed are those who dwell in Your house

One closing date for our home has passed and one somewhere in the future. I am taking a few moments to inventory all the huge amount of people and things God has put in my life.

 I have the most amazing family. I am married to the most godly man I have ever met, who loves me so much more than I deserve. I have an awesome son and daughter-in-law, who constantly amaze and humble me with their desire to serve God through serving people. I have an absolutely gorgeous daughter who loves God with all her heart, who is completely unaware of her beauty, who has an astounding ability to love people no matter what. I have a beautiful little Asian princess daughter who always leaves me with my jaw on the floor at the depth of insight that God has given to her at such a young age. I am so thankful for my family. 

 I have friends that know me and still love me unconditionally. I have a new church family that I am growing more in love with every day. I have extended family that I love and, well, they are stuck with me.

 Considering there are 4.5 million refugees in Sudan, nearly 2 million refugees in Somalia, between 3 and 5 million in Columbia, between 1 to 3 million in Iraq, and almost 2 million in the Congo, also that there are somewhere near 145 million orphans in the world, I have absolutely everything!

 I am humbled! I am grateful! I am moved to repentance! I pray that my heart would continually see the world through God's eyes. That I could have a heart that aches and grieves for refugees and orphans and widows. That as I sit here in a house that is warm, with food in my stomach, I would be Jesus' hands and feet to the world around me. I pray for forgiveness when I am consumed with myself when there are millions who have neither home, nor family, nor the awareness of the One who can fill every need. And may my deepest longing be to dwell in Your house, Oh God my Father!

 Psalm 84:2-4 My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out  for the living God.  Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself,  where she may have her young,  a place near your altar, LORD Almighty, my King and my God.  Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you.

New International Version (NIV)

Back to blogging

To look at the date of the last post one would think that I have no thoughts or anything to say. Maybe Kat just sits around relaxing, eating Bon-bons (whatever they are), taking up space on a crowded planet. While I am taking up space on this planet, relaxing and eating the infamous Bon-bons has not been in my schedule.
As I have recorded in the previous post, my family is moving. So for the past few months I have been painting, repairing,  and getting the house ready to sell. I have searched, searched and searched some more until I found a house for our family to move to. I have packed all our belongings.  I have supervised the moving and storing of said belongings. (Thank you to all the Seaford folks for all the help in packing, moving and cleaning! Thank you to the men from Bethany Place for your help in moving and storage!)
This past week I chose carpet and countertops for our house. And now after months of insane busyness, I get to relax. So, here I sit trying to think of something worthy of posting to take everyone's time and attention, and to be honest, "I got nothing!" So, all that is left for me to say now is... Pass the Bon-Bons!!!

Moving

I mentioned in my last post that my family has lived in the same area for 22 1/2 years. For all but three of those years we have been at the same church. While this is not all that unusual for most families to stay at one church that long, it is very unusual for a pastor and family. We have grown up and have been in the process of growing old with this church family. We have grown to love deeply the people of our church. This is not surprising when we have grieved over losses, rejoiced and celebrated, counseled and received counsel, been with families as they greeted their babies with the first  "I love you", been together as family members say their final earthly "I love you's", and every possible thing in between. Our love for this church family runs wide, but also runs very deep.

 Our nature is to love those who know and love us, to stay inside the walls of the place where we feel loved and comfortable,  but Jesus came and gave His life for all people when we neither knew nor cared for Him. So when God calls us to move, it's time to leave the place of "knowing and being known, loving and being loved" to go to a place of "getting to know and love."

Now the time has come for us to move to a new area, to grow this love with another church family. We anxiously await the opportunity for God to expand our hearts, to increase the capability of these frail and fragile human hearts, to again show us what the Kingdom of Heaven is like.
So I am so grateful for the grace of God that once again He would entrust us to lead, teach, learn from, grow with, and deeply love another branch of the Family. 


For both Seaford and Bethany Place, as Paul prays for the church at Philippi, so I pray for you:


 “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart…” Philippians 1:3-7a NIV

It is Thanksgiving and I have read some great posts already; http://lindsaysterchi.wordpress.com/2011/11/24/thanksgiving-reflections/  and
http://gcornett-musings.blogspot.com/2011/11/deepening-ground-of-our-gratitude.html.
So... I have decided to just share some reflections on our Thanksgiving holiday traditions. For the last 22 years my family and a family that we lovingly refer to as the Twingrams have gotten together for lunch/dinner, desserts, games, and family together time. Along with eating comes times of reminiscing, hours of laughing, and of course, Mylanta.
When we first came to Virginia 22 1/2 years ago our two families adopted each other. Even after all these years, children growing up,getting married and having children, moving, and moving back we still get together for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and whenever we can. I know that God brought our families together, when neither of us had family in the area, to be there for each other in times of trouble, grief, great joy, and celebrations. We are family, not by genetics but by the grace of God.
So again this year I am thankful for the Twingrams and times of celebrating God's amazing gift of bringing people together to create....Family.

Painting and Priorities

I am in the process of painting the walls of our house. I have thought about it and decided that after living here for 11 1/2 years, it is probably about time. I have known for some time, ok, several years, that my house needed painting. But knowing and doing something about it have been two entirely different things. As I am working on this little project, of which I am sure might take forever, I have discovered a few things. 

There are many things in my life that I know desperately need attention. There are people that I know God has put in my life for me to help, guide, teach, and love. But the truth is that I am so busy doing other things that I sometime put those people on the back burner of my mind. I know and even have the greatest intention to get to those people. Like my unpainted walls, I see every day as a reminder, I walk right past them. 

In my personal Bible study time, I am looking, studying, and meditating on the book of James. As always happens when I take the time to listen, the Holy Spirit is grabbing me by my soul and saying, "Kat, This is for you! Listen!'


James 1:22-25


"Do not merely listen listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But whoever looks intently h His into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it- not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it- they will be blessed in what they do."


So it is time for me to stop walking by the calling that God has on my life through His Word, but to look intently, to scrutinize, to let it burn into me so deeply that I am joyfully expecting my next opportunity to serve.


And while I am waiting, I'll get those walls painted.

Feels like time for Spiced Tea

When there is a chill in the air it is time to make Spiced Tea. I love the way it make the house smell and all the memories the smell provokes. 

When Gene and I were in Seminary, at least a hundred years ago,  we met some dear friends, Jim and Nan Haines. This amazing family taught us so much in the short time we had to spend with them. One of which was this spiced tea recipe. I am so grateful for that because it always reminds me of them and all the wonderful things that they taught us. But also because I have had the opportunity to make it a part of our family to share spiced tea and wisdom with with other friends as God has brought them into our life.

This takes a little more time than the instant version, but believe me... it is worth it! So make this and start your own family tradition of spiced tea, friends, and memories.

3 quarts of water

2 cups of sugar

5 cinnamon sticks

20 cloves

Stir and Simmer for 15 minutes.

Add 5 individual sized tea bags (I use decaf so I can have it late at night too.)

Simmer 15-20 minutes.

Remove tea bags, cinn. sticks, and tea bags.

Add 

2 cups Orange Juice

1/2 cup lemon juice

Stir and enjoy the experience!