I Am Talking About You

I have been and am still in a conversation about a few people that I have known for many years. Let me introduce them to you.

This is my friend Myra. We became friends when Gene and I moved to Virginia almost 25 years ago. Our son was 18 months old and I was pregnant. Myra was single parenting her four children at the time. We had no family in the area and she had only one family member that was close. Myra is a strong godly woman who is an awesome mother. When Myra speaks children everywhere come to attention. She also can whistle louder that any person I have ever heard. When Myra whistles everyone, even me and Gene turn from whatever we are doing and give her our undivided attention. Myra is a friend, a sister, a second mom to our two older children and (don't even try to figure this one out) a grandmother to our youngest daughter. We are family.
Myra's life has not been easy. There have been and continue to be very difficult times for her. Early in our friendship Myra went through heartbreaking relationship pain. I think that God used those times to turn our friendship into family. We helped raise her children, she has helped raise ours. I am sure that I have laughed more when our families are together than any other times in my life. Myra loves children and they love her in return. It is an amazing love that is combined with fear and respect. Not many people have that gift anymore. Myra also has enormous physical pain that she lives with every day. When I think of all that she has been through and continues to work through, I am in awe. God is glorified in Myra's life.

This is my friend MaryAnn. MaryAnn and I became friends not long after we moved to Virginia. We had not known each other very long at all when we started doing weekly one-on-one Bible studies. During those early years of our relationship, MaryAnn helped me grow spiritually in ways that I am sure that she doesn't realize. MaryAnn is a gentle woman with incredible inner strength. She has lived through hard times as well. I often think of some of the spiritual battles that she fought in those early years. Some of the battles she fought for me. They were difficult and not without casualties. MaryAnn also lives with physical pain. She taught me long ago the value of an ice pack. MaryAnn quietly goes about life. She serves God by blessing other people with the gifts that God has given her. I admire her so much. The Holy Spirit of God encourages so many though MaryAnn's life.

This is my friend Terry. Terry and I became friends early in our time in Virginia. Her oldest son and my son became friends. Terry's youngest son and our middle daughter became friends in self-defense because we spent so much time together. Our children took swim lessons at the Y when they were very young. Terry and I became close friends over the smell of chlorine and with goldfish crackers, fruit snacks, and skittles embedded in the carpet of our cars. Terry is a gentle woman as well. Way back then, Terry was timid and fearful. Terry taught me how to love and challenge people who don't have the personality of a bull-dozer like I sometimes do. Terry has challenged me to be a gentler person. I have challenged Terry to love people but not let those people determine how she feels about herself. Terry is also a person of prayer. I know that when Terry says that she will pray for me, she doesn't mean a 10 second drive-by with God. She will be agonizing in prayer for me. I was there for Terry in one of her finer moments. I pushed her to climb a tree for the first time in her life. Although somewhat terrified, she found freedom that day. Terry also lives with physical pain. There is not a day that goes by that she is not reminded of her mortality, yet she perseveres.
I grow in respect for Terry with every passing year. Terry's life is a proclamation of the transforming power of Jesus Christ
.

This is my friend Laurie. Laurie and I have been friends for 16+ years. Laurie has seven children and I was there rubbing her back and taking pictures for the births of 3 of the children. I am "Momma Kat" to her children. That brings so much joy to my heart. Laurie is a genuinely sweet person. She gives and loves and gives some more. Laurie's love for Jesus is magnified in the way that she listens, the encouragement she gives, the love she pours out continuously to everyone she meets. Laurie leads a quiet life. ( Figuratively speaking, with 7 children it is never literally quiet.) She doesn't venture too far, but stays on the lane she calls home most of the time. Laurie has the gift of encouragement. I have seen her be loving and encouraging to people that I have wanted to throw off of her porch. I have witnessed her stand with people, be there for them, pick them up, pray for them, pick them up again over and over. Laurie has taught me how to be a friend that keeps encouraging. Laurie has taught me how to really listen. Laurie has taught me to take delight in 5 minutes of time together, thankful for the time and not lamenting that it wasn't long enough. Laurie deals with great physical pain every day, but not her own. Her husband has debilitating pain every day. Sometimes I think that living with and deeply loving someone that is in constant pain might be the harder job. Laurie handles all of life with incredible grace. When you look at Laurie, you see the reflection of Jesus.

Now that I have introduced you to these ladies, I will tell you that my conversations about them is ongoing. I talk about the good, the not so good, the bad, the painful, the heart breaking things that I have seen throughout the years in relationship with them. I listen as I am encouraged to learn from them, to honor them, to challenge them, to keep them in my life.

The conversation is with the Maker of us all. I keep coming back to my Father in gratitude for having these ladies in my life. I love them deeply and I'm fairly sure that they love me too.

This week in my Sunday School class we are looking at Philippians 1. Though we won't get to verse 19, as I read over it, I was brought back into my conversation with God. I know that through these ladies' prayers and influence on my life..."and through the help given me by the Spirit of JesusChrist, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance."

I am blessed by God to have these ladies, but also that He is continually putting more God-honoring women in my life. I am thankful and I continue to rejoice because I have so much to learn.

The Treadmill, a Skateboard and Making Spiritual Progress

As I was getting ready to walk on the treadmill this morning, I was thinking about how beautiful it was outside. It was a cold, crisp day. Even a little crunchy since we had sleet, ice and snow overnight. I was very excited that even as I was pushing myself to exercise I would still be able to enjoy the view from the garage where the treadmill calls home. When I stepped up on the treadmill, got snapped on and start to walk, I looked up and out the windows to lose myself in the beauty of God's creation. This is what I saw.

What? How in the world did those windows get that dirty? I immediately stopped the treadmill to do what had to be done.

So much better! This little incident reminded me of something that happened about a month ago. Gene came in from the garage with the unbearable news that our treadmill had died. I couldn't believe it. We have only owned it for 15 years. But unlike a great number of treadmills that become glorified clothes racks, we actually use ours. All the time. I was depressed. How was I going to lose all that baby fat from our adoption of Noelle 5 years ago? This couldn't be happening. So I moped around for a week or so. That dead hunk of metal in the garage was never far from my mind. I certainly couldn't exercise outside. When the temperature drops below 35 degrees this body doesn't go outside to exercise. 

Eventually I decided to go use the philosophy that I live by concerning things that don't work. "If it is already broken, how much damage can I possibly do if I try to fix it myself." On my way to the treadmill, I picked up my bag of tools and set out to conquer. Gene had told me that it was still making noise but that the belt wasn't moving. I turned it on and listened for a minute to try to decipher the problem. As I was listening to the whine of the motor I looked down to discover what had "broken" our treadmill. Crammed under the belt was a skateboard. I am no mechanical genius but even I could figure out that with a skateboard blocking the belt it was unlikely to run. When I removed the offending blockage the treadmill was once again doing what it was made to do. And Gene is back to using it as his excuse for allowing himself an extra scoop of ice cream. "I ran on the treadmill!" 

I am very thankful for our treadmill. Gene runs on it, I walk on it. We keep going. When I took the time to figure out why it wasn't working, I discovered that it was an obstacle easily removed from the path. Now we are moving again.

There are so many things that block our path to spiritual progress in becoming fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ. If there is something that is blocking your way, I challenge you. Take some time. Evaluate the obstruction. Pray for "eyes to see." Move that junk out of the way. If it is too big to do alone, find a friend, counselor or pastor that will help you to get past the barrier to a more intimate relationship with Jesus. You will be a more healthy person and you will be doing what you were made for.

Hebrews 12: 1-2a

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..."

Speaking of Exercise, here is an oportunity to exercise being mission minded:

http://milesformuia.blogspot.com/

Peggy and her husband, Rick are sweet friends that we met in China. Our families were in a group that traveled together to get our daughters. 

The NFL, The Blind Side and God's Mercy to Me

I really like the movie The Blind Side. It is the story of a high school age boy that has no family. Through different circumstances he gets to attend a private school, becomes a part of a family, plays football, and eventually goes to college and then plays in the NFL. This is the true story of Michael Oher. The movie is incredible. One of my favorite lines in the movie is when Leigh Ann Tuohy, played by Sandra Bullock is encouraging Michael, as the left tackle, to protect the quarterback. 

Leigh Anne: "This team is your family Michael. When you look at him(the quarterback) you think of me, how you have my back. Are you going to protect your family Michael?"

Michael Oher: "Yes ma'am."

At the beginning of the movie you hear an explanation of the position that Michael plays : "The left tackle's job is to protect the quarterback from what he can't see coming. To protect his blind side." A left tackle has to train to be strong, to be wise, to know when to go forward and when to pull back in order to protect the quarterback. He must understand when to tackle the opponent and when to stand guard and be watchful. It is long and hard work that takes daily discipline to be successful. It is rarely recognized by football fans.

There have been times that I have wondered about my life. While growing up in a family of eleven and mostly going unnoticed I wondered, "Is this all there is to my life?" In college and in the early years of our marriage I wondered again, "Is this what my life will be like?" As I became a young mother of two in diapers I was pretty sure that my life was all about feeding, changing diapers, and doing that all over again day after day. As my two older children grew I have had many jobs outside of our home, some paid, most not. Still there were times when the question came back, "God, Is this what my life is supposed to be about?" Please don't misunderstand, I love my husband and I love my children, more than words could ever express. I have given my life to loving and serving them and hopefully a few other people throughout my years. I just have wondered if my life so far has really made a difference.

Several weeks ago I was asked by a friend, "What exactly is it that you do?" To be honest I was stunned. I was completely at a loss for words. I said nothing, but that question has haunted me. What is it that I do? What is my life about? Though I have talked to my husband about this, and he has been very encouraging, still I couldn't find the answers that I felt that I needed. This week in the midst of having the flu I had one of those moments when I felt as if God smacked me on the back of the head and spoke in that still small voice, "Kat, do you still not get it?" Being sick had nothing to do with this revelation, but being quiet and still had everything to do with getting the answer that I have been seeking for years. "What is my God-ordained job? Why did He put me here? What is it that I do?"


Are you curious? Have you figured it out?


My job, my purpose is to be a left tackle. A left tackle for my family, for my friends, for my church family. I am to protect the people around me. To see what is coming. To recognize when danger is coming. To protect the "blind side."


Many years of spiritual gift assessments have helped me to understand the gift that God has given me to see things that may or may not be seen by others. I have never thought much about the reason that God would give me this ability.


My husband, Gene is a pastor. If there is anyone who needs a left tackle, it is a pastor. God has called me to be the "left tackle" for this "chosen man of God." That just gets me excited. Gene needs me. I protect his blind side.


My son, my daughter-in-law, my daughters, my grandchild, my friends and church family all need a left tackle in their lives and I want to be the one that God entrusts with that calling. I may not be the smartest or strongest, or most eloquent player on the field, but I am in the game. I need to be training hard to recognize the difference between the temporary and the eternal, to be so trained in God's ways that I will see when danger is ahead.


I have a more clear understanding of what I am to be doing now. I know that I will not be able to protect from every painful, dangerous, or devastating thing that comes but I am going to give all that I have to fulfill the calling that God has graciously placed on my life.


"Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart." 2 Corinthians 4: 1

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4: 18

Backyard Treasure

We have buried Wisdom 
In the backyard of our souls
Exchanged it for information
Available every where we go

We want to know why
And who and where
Forgetting about Wisdom 
That is waiting there

Information is here and now
It's microwaved
But it is already old then dead
Thirty seconds after it has been saved

Information is televised, 
Publicized, sanitized
It is what I cling to 
To verify that I am still alive...

All the while stealing my life

Wisdom is slow, It is deep
It gives life as it flows
It goes deeper and causes my heart to grow
Compassion, love, and truth are the treasure it bestows

Wisdom is not flashy
It seeks no display
It teaches love and patience 
And seeing more than my way

Wisdom is solid and ever true
It is not dependent
On what I do

It is the Living Treasure we've buried
In the back yard of our souls

But still...

I don't want what can remake me
I crave what fascinates me
There's no time for second guesses
Being still just distresses...
Me
'Cause I might see
That I've been wrong 

7 Different Kinds of Crazy

When my two older children were little they would tease each other with a game that goes something like this:
"That is my momma." 
"No, she is my momma."
"She was my momma first!"

Now they play that with our youngest child too even though they are both over 20 years older than she is. I usually smile at their game until it gets to the point of, "She was my momma first." It is then that I point out the error in their thinking. I always tell them, God had a plan for all of us to be in this family long before He ever created the earth or space or time. 
So reality is that I became your mommy all at the same time. God has just allowed for it to be revealed to us at different times. That always seems to put the teasing and even arguing to rest.

Thinking about that has reminded me of the way some adults think. I have had people ask me questions like this: How do your real children feel about your adopted child?
Is it hard to love your adopted child as you do your real children?

When things like this are said to me, I would like to tell you that I respond with love and grace, but the truth is that I have to wait for my head to stop spinning on my shoulders, calm down my inner Momma Grizzly Bear, breathe deeply and then do my best not to commit a felony. 

I sometimes wonder about the faith of a person that would ask such a question. I want to ask them: "How big do you believe God to be? Is He confined to time or space or a womb that no longer exists? Is He confined by miles or oceans? Is He confined by nationalities or cultures or the color of our skin?"

Obviously the answer to all of these questions is "No!" God is not limited! There is nothing that He cannot accomplish!

Wow! That sounds like a great blog post until reality hits. That my faith is also limited, just in different areas.
Do I believe that God can: 
Feed the world's hungry
Provide homes for the millions of orphans 
Heal our nation
Bring lost and hurting people to life
Grow my church
Heal my sister-in-law

Suddenly I find that I am the one in need of Jesus refining my faith.
So I pray, "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief." And give me the grace to help others in their unbelief as well.

I Am Alone

As I look at the world around me, more and more I see people who are alone. Our culture has become so secluded. We wake up, go about our days with little to no live human interaction. Many, if not most of our relationships occur via the Internet. For those who have no relationship with Jesus Christ the loneliness presses down with a weight so heavy that it becomes unbearable. I wonder how many people in your social network have gone weeks or more without one touch, one genuine smile, one honest face-to-face conversation? I am hoping to have my eyes open to the world around me, to see people at the heart level as Jesus sees.

I Am Alone

I am alone
I am in a crowd
No one sees me
I am alone

I am alone
One in a sea of students
They are laughing
They think they know me
I let them believe
But I am alone

I am alone
People around me
I see thier faces
Feel their pity
I have no home
I am alone

I am alone
I choose the masses
They are yelling
I sense their anger
My pain is hidden
I am alone

I am alone
Though married for decades
Children around me
Envied by many
Known by no one
I am alone

I am alone
Screaming around me
Spitting and hitting
Thorns and nails
Living, dying, living
You are not alone


Jesus said..., “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:25-26

Beautiful and Horrible, Heart-breaking and Precious Love

My brother, Sam is a big man. I am guessing that he is around 6 feet tall and pushing the top off of 220 pounds. Being the second from the youngest in a family of eleven he learned early to defend himself both physically and verbally. Some might look at Sam and see a big guy that can be abrupt and sarcastic, but those people would have never seen Sam through Yana's eyes.
Yana is Sam's wife and Yana knew more about Sam as a freshman in high school than most will ever know or dare to look deep enough to see.
Sam was a senior and Yana a freshman when they first met. Sam was a teacher's aide in a class that Yana was in. I ask Sam how long it took him to notice her, "immediately" was his answer. He said he fell in love with her the first time he saw her.

Yana says, "I thought he was funny and sweet and had a gorgeous smile and eyes." At that time Sam was dating someone else but it wasn't long until he knew that he was in the wrong relationship.
Though Sam was not a Christ-follower, Yana prayed and ask God about dating him. She said she felt at peace continuing their relationship.
He and Yana started talking and writing letters to each other. Yana still has those letters.

They dated for six years before, as Sam says, he was mature enough to ask her to be his wife. On September 24, 1994, they were married.

This week it will be 19 years since the day we celebrated Sam and Yana's wedding. Many things have happened since that joy-full day. Sam gave to his life to Christ and has become a totally sold out follower of Jesus. They have four boys. They have worked, played, laughed, cried, and everything in between. They have coached, gone on mission trips, and given to family, friends, and anyone they have known that had a need. They give, love, and serve.

Sam and Yana are both hard workers. At times working 4 jobs between them just to keep their family going. Sam once fell asleep in a restaurant drive-thru waiting to order because he had been working too long without sleep. He is determined to provide for his family. (Although he got severely reprimanded about that one, not only by Yana but also by his sister.)

Yana and Sam have not had easy lives, however they have a great life together loving and serving Jesus, each other, family, and people around them.

Almost three years ago Yana started having some medical problems. As time has passed the symptoms have progressed. They have been to doctors and specialists. They have been to hospitals where they live and also in other states.

Yana has symptoms of seizures, although they have been told that they are not seizures. When they happen, Yana shakes violently(so much that she has to be held to get through them), cannot walk, and has recently started to temporarily lose the ability to talk after an attack. These attacks happen frequently with no apparent cause. For over two years there has been no doctor able to tell them what might be the cause of the attacks.

A few months ago Yana was diagnosed with Wilson's Disease and put on medication. While the medicine for this disease has serious side effects it is what is needed to treat the disease. Still the attacks have continued and worsened.

Last week Yana was able to talk with a doctor at Vanderbilt who specializes in movement disorders. After hours of pouring over her MRI's, her medical records and every other bit information that she could send, he is convinced that she does not have Wilson's Disease, but cannot see her until she has been off the medication that she is now on for at least a month.

While in some respects this is good news, in other respects they are left again with having no ability to treat or help her at all. Once again they have no answers.

I decided to write this blog about Sam and Yana for three reasons.

The first reason is that when I was with Sam and Yana a little over a month ago I was astounded at the gentleness and love of my brother as he held and quietly talked Yana through one of these attacks. While my heart was breaking watching her have to endure it, he was tenderly holding, whispering, and even joking with her. I saw love. Love that says I am committed to you. Love that says no matter what this life throws at us, I am here and will be here for you. Love that says you are my treasure, given to me by God Himself and I will treat you as such for all of our days. And I saw Yana's eyes. I saw in her the struggle of dealing with not only the attacks but seeing the man she loves so much as he fights the pain of watching his wife go through this but staying strong for her. It was horrible and beautiful, heart-breaking and precious. It is what real love looks like. 

The second reason is my hope that every person who reads this will put it on their social media. Maybe, somehow, someone will see it and know a doctor that would recognize Yana's symptoms and be able to offer help.

The third reason is in hopes that many people will read this and commit to praying for Sam, Yana, and their boys. God is still at work among us. Let us pray for each other as we experience things that we may never understand, and should not have to go through alone.

I want you all to know that I love this family so very much and I'm convinced that given the opportunity, you would too.

1 John 4:7
"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God."