As I look at the world around me, more and more I see people who are alone. Our culture has become so secluded. We wake up, go about our days with little to no live human interaction. Many, if not most of our relationships occur via the Internet. For those who have no relationship with Jesus Christ the loneliness presses down with a weight so heavy that it becomes unbearable. I wonder how many people in your social network have gone weeks or more without one touch, one genuine smile, one honest face-to-face conversation? I am hoping to have my eyes open to the world around me, to see people at the heart level as Jesus sees.
I Am Alone
I am alone
I am in a crowd
No one sees me
I am alone
I am alone
One in a sea of students
They are laughing
They think they know me
I let them believe
But I am alone
I am alone
People around me
I see thier faces
Feel their pity
I have no home
I am alone
I am alone
I choose the masses
They are yelling
I sense their anger
My pain is hidden
I am alone
I am alone
Though married for decades
Children around me
Envied by many
Known by no one
I am alone
I am alone
Screaming around me
Spitting and hitting
Thorns and nails
Living, dying, living
You are not alone
Jesus said..., “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:25-26
My brother, Sam is a big man. I am guessing that he is around 6 feet tall and pushing the top off of 220 pounds. Being the second from the youngest in a family of eleven he learned early to defend himself both physically and verbally. Some might look at Sam and see a big guy that can be abrupt and sarcastic, but those people would have never seen Sam through Yana's eyes.
Yana is Sam's wife and Yana knew more about Sam as a freshman in high school than most will ever know or dare to look deep enough to see.
Sam was a senior and Yana a freshman when they first met. Sam was a teacher's aide in a class that Yana was in. I ask Sam how long it took him to notice her, "immediately" was his answer. He said he fell in love with her the first time he saw her.
Yana says, "I thought he was funny and sweet and had a gorgeous smile and eyes." At that time Sam was dating someone else but it wasn't long until he knew that he was in the wrong relationship.
Though Sam was not a Christ-follower, Yana prayed and ask God about dating him. She said she felt at peace continuing their relationship.
He and Yana started talking and writing letters to each other. Yana still has those letters.
They dated for six years before, as Sam says, he was mature enough to ask her to be his wife. On September 24, 1994, they were married.
This week it will be 19 years since the day we celebrated Sam and Yana's wedding. Many things have happened since that joy-full day. Sam gave to his life to Christ and has become a totally sold out follower of Jesus. They have four boys. They have worked, played, laughed, cried, and everything in between. They have coached, gone on mission trips, and given to family, friends, and anyone they have known that had a need. They give, love, and serve.
Sam and Yana are both hard workers. At times working 4 jobs between them just to keep their family going. Sam once fell asleep in a restaurant drive-thru waiting to order because he had been working too long without sleep. He is determined to provide for his family. (Although he got severely reprimanded about that one, not only by Yana but also by his sister.)
Yana and Sam have not had easy lives, however they have a great life together loving and serving Jesus, each other, family, and people around them.
Almost three years ago Yana started having some medical problems. As time has passed the symptoms have progressed. They have been to doctors and specialists. They have been to hospitals where they live and also in other states.
Yana has symptoms of seizures, although they have been told that they are not seizures. When they happen, Yana shakes violently(so much that she has to be held to get through them), cannot walk, and has recently started to temporarily lose the ability to talk after an attack. These attacks happen frequently with no apparent cause. For over two years there has been no doctor able to tell them what might be the cause of the attacks.
A few months ago Yana was diagnosed with Wilson's Disease and put on medication. While the medicine for this disease has serious side effects it is what is needed to treat the disease. Still the attacks have continued and worsened.
Last week Yana was able to talk with a doctor at Vanderbilt who specializes in movement disorders. After hours of pouring over her MRI's, her medical records and every other bit information that she could send, he is convinced that she does not have Wilson's Disease, but cannot see her until she has been off the medication that she is now on for at least a month.
While in some respects this is good news, in other respects they are left again with having no ability to treat or help her at all. Once again they have no answers.
I decided to write this blog about Sam and Yana for three reasons.
The first reason is that when I was with Sam and Yana a little over a month ago I was astounded at the gentleness and love of my brother as he held and quietly talked Yana through one of these attacks. While my heart was breaking watching her have to endure it, he was tenderly holding, whispering, and even joking with her. I saw love. Love that says I am committed to you. Love that says no matter what this life throws at us, I am here and will be here for you. Love that says you are my treasure, given to me by God Himself and I will treat you as such for all of our days. And I saw Yana's eyes. I saw in her the struggle of dealing with not only the attacks but seeing the man she loves so much as he fights the pain of watching his wife go through this but staying strong for her. It was horrible and beautiful, heart-breaking and precious. It is what real love looks like.
The second reason is my hope that every person who reads this will put it on their social media. Maybe, somehow, someone will see it and know a doctor that would recognize Yana's symptoms and be able to offer help.
The third reason is in hopes that many people will read this and commit to praying for Sam, Yana, and their boys. God is still at work among us. Let us pray for each other as we experience things that we may never understand, and should not have to go through alone.
I want you all to know that I love this family so very much and I'm convinced that given the opportunity, you would too.
1 John 4:7
"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God."
