Life On the Shelf

There are a couple of bowls in my cabinet that Gene and I got as presents when we were married. I use these bowls all the time. They are the perfect size for mixing, serving, storing, or whatever else I need. Here’s the thing… these bowls are old. They are an odd color of yellow with green designs. They are dated. Every once and a while one of my children tell me that it is time to get some new bowls, but  I like these bowls a lot. It would actually never occur to me to NOT use them.  Old and a bit ugly aside, they are still as useful now as when they were given to us.

I am going to be painfully honest now. (This would be a great time to stop reading if you can’t handle bare honesty.) I feel very much like my bowls lately. Old and a bit ugly, put on the shelf because it seems that my usefulness isn’t needed. (I did warn you.) I am constantly questioning my own motives. I want, more than I can express to be useful in the kingdom of God and the ministry of my church. There are things that I feel great passion for in ministry.  I am not one given to breaking into tears, but get me talking about the things that I am most passionate about and I can cry a bucket full in no time at all.

But what happens when your gifts are not needed. What happens when your usefulness is questioned. What happens when you are put on the shelf. Trust me when I tell you that I know all the right answers. We have been in ministry for close to 30 years. I recognize the seasons of ministry. The seasons of life.  However, I am coming to see that perhaps we as the church have acquiesced to our culture in ways that we should never allow.  Old and a bit ugly does not equal useless. Out of date does not mean ready for the retirement home or trash bin.

I have always believed and lived out, “If there is a job that needs to be done, don’t wait for someone else to do it. Don’t call the janitor if there is a spill, clean it up.” There are some things that I do because they need to be done. I know how to do them.  I might even be good at those jobs. But these things are not the tasks that I have a Spirit-filled passion. I will continue to do whatever is needed but I need to be deeply immersed in ministry that God has granted me passion to be involved in. It gives me fire to sustain the jobs that I may not feel a great passion to do.

As the wife of a pastor I have learned to keep silent about most things to preserve the unity of the body. I hold that as one of my highest priorities. I am taking a chance of being misunderstood for expressing my grief. My reasoning for this post is that if I feel this way, there must be others in the Body who feel the same. Maybe some aren’t feeling old and a bit ugly, maybe it is more scarred and broken, or too young and inexperienced, or whatever condition you are in. I pray that the church will be looking for people that are passionate about the Gospel, passionate about ministry, but have been delegated to shelf duty. We need these folks more than ever.  And those on the shelf need to be active again.

Or… it could be that I am guilty of “thinking too highly of myself.” And if that is so, maybe a little more time on the shelf is what is needed.



“ For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.” Romans 12:3-8


I would love to hear your thoughts,


Kat

Glory Revealed

I wrote this several months ago. As I have been reminded in the past few weeks that my life is not my own and that God is in control of both life and death, I am posting this. AND holding on to Romans 8: 18.


This time of year has caught my attention. It is an anniversary of sorts. It was about 17 1/2 years ago that I had a head injury. Some of you are probably thinking, "Well, that explains a lot!"

Actually, it does explain many things about me. Let me go back to bring light to the present.

It is difficult to explain or even for me to completely understand how the way I grew up effected the way I thought about myself, the way I thought about other people and the way that I thought about God. The reality is that although I grew up in poverty and prejudice, I really grew up in my own world. My life was certainly affected by these things, but I never realized until later that these things had birthed and even greater evil in me. Pride.
Coming from poverty I believed that if you worked hard enough poverty could be defeated. And so I worked. I became the first in my family to go to college, with the exception of one semester that my dad completed. To my knowledge, I am the first for generations to graduate from college.  Very subtly pride grew in me.
As I have grown older I have found that given the smallest encouragement pride will grow. I also know from The Word of God that pride is a deal-breaker for really knowing God. So as I have grown in my faith, as I long more and more to intimately know God and grow in that relationship, I must, at every opportunity, be purged of the evil of my own pride.
So it was 17 1/2 years ago that I had the head injury. While I won't go into the details of that injury let me just acknowledge that it was my own fault, no one to blame but myself. This injury has caused years of pain. Most days I have a headache. No pity necessary, just explaining my life. I have learned to deal with the pain that I experience. But some days are worse than others. Some days are excruciating. However, I have learned so much  from the experience of my circumstance.

 A couple of these lessons are:
1. Pride and constant pain cannot live together.
Because of the pain I live with, I understand that there is nothing that I can do to help myself or anyone else.Without the power of the Holy Spirit in me I wouldn't get out of bed, but only because God chooses to use me do I have purpose and meaning.

2. My life is not my own.
I don't get to determine what my day will be like. It may be fine, normal, ordinary. Or it may be one struggle after another. It may be filled with joy. It may be filled with grief. I cannot count on my circumstances to dictate the way I live. Only by allowing Jesus Christ to be foundation do I get to live a life that is not on a constant pendulum.

3.. There is a holy purpose for everything.
I can say without a doubt that I am a completely different person because of the pain I experience. God has taken what was a "not good" event and used it to make me more compassionate to those who hurt. I can grieve with those who experience loss. I can rejoice with those who experience small, seemingly insignificant victories. I live those things.

 I was once ask if I had the ability to go back and change the event of my injury, would I do it? That is a very difficult question. Would I trade the early days of pain, confusion, questioning, grief, loss,and tears that have grown me into who I am today? Would I trade the daily challenge to get out of bed and live a life that is full of joy and thankfulness. I doubt that I would, but I am very glad that it is not my decision to make because I know that God has used my pain to change me. He has used my pain to help me see people differently. He has used my pain to mature me.

So the only answer that makes any sense to me is this:
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."
Romans 8:18

For whatever circumstance you are in today, I hope that my story has encouraged you. I would love to hear how God is using the challenges in your life to reveal His glory.

Strength Training: 1 John 2:3

Strength Training Verse


1 John 2:3


" And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments."


This is one of those days that we all experience at one time or another. I feel as if I have nothing to offer. No words of encouragement or great insight to give. But even as I write these words I realize that this is the best place to be when looking deeply into God's word.


Thinking about 1 John 2:3 reminds me that our assurance that we belong to God flows from evidence of growing obedience. But while studying the verse a seemingly unrelated command came to my mind. "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18.


We call these our Strength Training verses for a good reason. It's not because we are already strong on our own, but because we can only develop spiritual strength through internalizing God's word. It's when we acknowledge our weakness that we are in a position to receive God's strength. As Paul reported in 1 Corinthians 12: 9-10:


"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."


So in the spirit of these passages, I offer this prayer.


"Dear Almighty God, Maker of heaven and earth, Maker of every person, You know every detail of our lives. You know our weaknesses, our pain, our grief, and our joy. You have designed us for abundant life filled with praise and worship to you. Father, we long to know you more and to be a people who keeps your commands, but we also know that our hearts are prone to wander. I pray for myself and for each person reading that we will be careful to study your Word so that we will hunger to obey your commands. Give us a passion for You so that not only will we know that we belong to You, but that the world will know that we are your people. In Jesus' name and for His glory. Amen"

Red Eyes and Drippy Noses

I had a sweet friend send this picture to me last week. I so appreciated her insight into the path that grief takes. It is a long and winding road that takes turns that you don't expect. 

I am humbled that so many people have voiced the same sentiments. 

However, yesterday I was asked how I was doing. To which I replied, "Not good." I always assume that if someone cares enough to ask they want the truth when I answer. To my amazement this person then said, "Aren't you about over this yet." When I was able to speak again I simply said, "No. No I am not." 

My Mom went to be with Jesus a week and a half ago and I am not even beginning to get over it. I am not getting over that I no longer can call and hear her voice on the phone. I am not getting over that for as long as I am on this earth I will not see her again. I am not even a little bit over seeing my Dad grieve over the woman that he loved and was married to for 58 years. I am not over seeing my 6 brothers and two sisters weeping. I am not over seeing grandchildren and great-grandchildren crying for their grandmother. I am also very sure that I may never get over watching my Mom take her last breath, watching the doctor come in and pronounce her death. I am not over leaving my Daddy, driving out of the driveway and hearing ask me to come back soon. 

I know that people say and do things when they are uncomfortable that they really don't mean. I understand. I wish that we all could know and say the right thing at the right time. But there will always be times when we leave a conversation wishing we could just pull a blanket over our heads and hide for a millennium or so. 

Perhaps the best thing to do in situations like this is to...
Weep with those who weep.
Celebrate with those who celebrate. 
And in times when a follower of Christ goes home, to realize that from one moment to the next, for family and friends the two emotions can and do exist together. 

I am celebrating my mom's homecoming but I am also grieving. 

I have had several people from my church say these things to me as they try keep from crying:
"My mother died 50 years ago and I still miss her." 
"My mom went to heaven in 1997, I still cry."
"My dad has been with Jesus for 20 years and I sometimes still find myself going to the phone to call before I remember." 
"My parents passed away years ago and very few days go by that I don't think of them and feel that pain."

These are the things that are salve to my heartache. 

I don't know when this will get easier. Please be patient with me. Please share your grief with me. We can cry together and then laugh with each other at our red eyes and drippy noses. 

Tonight I Mourn

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,...

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance..."  Ecclesiates3:1,2a,4

Yesterday my Mom went home to be with Jesus. 

After years of pain Mom is now in the presence of God laughing and dancing in the streets of Heaven. I am so happy for her. 

But tonight I am weeping and mourning. In the past few hours the things that have caught me off guard and turn me into a torrent of pain and tears have been things that I didn't see coming... 

Calling my parents home phone number and looking down to see the caller ID scream at me... Mom

To see a gift that had been lost in the busyness of the holidays with a tag that had my mom's handwriting, To Kat Love Mom and Dad...

To walk in their home to see her chair empty...

Tonight I am a mess. And while I am rejoicing with complete assurance that my Mom is with Jesus, I am also overwhelmed with grief that I will never call that number again and hear my Mom's voice answer. I am weeping that I will never again get another Christmas present with her handwriting. I am grieved that I will never again walk in my parents house to see her sitting at the kitchen table shelling peas. 

Tonight, and likely for many days to come it is my time to weep and mourn, all the while knowing that it is my Mom's time to laugh and dance.

I love you, Mom. And in the blink of an eye I will see you again.

 

Preoccupied

I am so excited about a new ministry that I am involved in. Our church started providing a weekly memory verse for every member and attender. These verses go along with the sermon series that our pastor is preaching. I have been ask to write a devotional each week to go along with the "Strength Training" verse. I am going to be posting the devotionals here so that more people can join with us in "hiding the Word of God in our hearts."

Colossians 3: 1-2 "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth."

I remember as a young adult being preoccupied with some pretty shallow things. One house we lived in while in seminary had no curtains. That was a great source of concern for me. We were living north of Dallas, Texas and Gene was driving back and forth to Fort Worth. He would stay overnight a couple of times a week for classes, and I was at home with a new baby. We barely had enough money to pay our rent and utilities and we lived on peanut butter and jelly. There were days when Gene was in Fort Worth that I would lay on the couch with blankets completely covering both me and Will simply because we couldn't afford to turn the heat up. Still, I was upset that there were windows everywhere in that house with no curtains. This seems incredibly silly to me now.

There are many times when we as followers of Christ Jesus get our focus on things that are temporary and of no real value. These verses remind us to "seek" the things that are above, to "set" our minds on things that are above so that we don't become caught up in things that really won't matter a year, five years, or ten years from now. Our minds need to be "set" or focused on the things that will be of significance when we stand before Jesus Christ and give an answer for how we lived while on earth. The only possible way that we can accomplish this is by continually immersing ourselves in scripture and as the psalmist advises, "hiding it in our hearts."

I Am Talking About You

I have been and am still in a conversation about a few people that I have known for many years. Let me introduce them to you.

This is my friend Myra. We became friends when Gene and I moved to Virginia almost 25 years ago. Our son was 18 months old and I was pregnant. Myra was single parenting her four children at the time. We had no family in the area and she had only one family member that was close. Myra is a strong godly woman who is an awesome mother. When Myra speaks children everywhere come to attention. She also can whistle louder that any person I have ever heard. When Myra whistles everyone, even me and Gene turn from whatever we are doing and give her our undivided attention. Myra is a friend, a sister, a second mom to our two older children and (don't even try to figure this one out) a grandmother to our youngest daughter. We are family.
Myra's life has not been easy. There have been and continue to be very difficult times for her. Early in our friendship Myra went through heartbreaking relationship pain. I think that God used those times to turn our friendship into family. We helped raise her children, she has helped raise ours. I am sure that I have laughed more when our families are together than any other times in my life. Myra loves children and they love her in return. It is an amazing love that is combined with fear and respect. Not many people have that gift anymore. Myra also has enormous physical pain that she lives with every day. When I think of all that she has been through and continues to work through, I am in awe. God is glorified in Myra's life.

This is my friend MaryAnn. MaryAnn and I became friends not long after we moved to Virginia. We had not known each other very long at all when we started doing weekly one-on-one Bible studies. During those early years of our relationship, MaryAnn helped me grow spiritually in ways that I am sure that she doesn't realize. MaryAnn is a gentle woman with incredible inner strength. She has lived through hard times as well. I often think of some of the spiritual battles that she fought in those early years. Some of the battles she fought for me. They were difficult and not without casualties. MaryAnn also lives with physical pain. She taught me long ago the value of an ice pack. MaryAnn quietly goes about life. She serves God by blessing other people with the gifts that God has given her. I admire her so much. The Holy Spirit of God encourages so many though MaryAnn's life.

This is my friend Terry. Terry and I became friends early in our time in Virginia. Her oldest son and my son became friends. Terry's youngest son and our middle daughter became friends in self-defense because we spent so much time together. Our children took swim lessons at the Y when they were very young. Terry and I became close friends over the smell of chlorine and with goldfish crackers, fruit snacks, and skittles embedded in the carpet of our cars. Terry is a gentle woman as well. Way back then, Terry was timid and fearful. Terry taught me how to love and challenge people who don't have the personality of a bull-dozer like I sometimes do. Terry has challenged me to be a gentler person. I have challenged Terry to love people but not let those people determine how she feels about herself. Terry is also a person of prayer. I know that when Terry says that she will pray for me, she doesn't mean a 10 second drive-by with God. She will be agonizing in prayer for me. I was there for Terry in one of her finer moments. I pushed her to climb a tree for the first time in her life. Although somewhat terrified, she found freedom that day. Terry also lives with physical pain. There is not a day that goes by that she is not reminded of her mortality, yet she perseveres.
I grow in respect for Terry with every passing year. Terry's life is a proclamation of the transforming power of Jesus Christ
.

This is my friend Laurie. Laurie and I have been friends for 16+ years. Laurie has seven children and I was there rubbing her back and taking pictures for the births of 3 of the children. I am "Momma Kat" to her children. That brings so much joy to my heart. Laurie is a genuinely sweet person. She gives and loves and gives some more. Laurie's love for Jesus is magnified in the way that she listens, the encouragement she gives, the love she pours out continuously to everyone she meets. Laurie leads a quiet life. ( Figuratively speaking, with 7 children it is never literally quiet.) She doesn't venture too far, but stays on the lane she calls home most of the time. Laurie has the gift of encouragement. I have seen her be loving and encouraging to people that I have wanted to throw off of her porch. I have witnessed her stand with people, be there for them, pick them up, pray for them, pick them up again over and over. Laurie has taught me how to be a friend that keeps encouraging. Laurie has taught me how to really listen. Laurie has taught me to take delight in 5 minutes of time together, thankful for the time and not lamenting that it wasn't long enough. Laurie deals with great physical pain every day, but not her own. Her husband has debilitating pain every day. Sometimes I think that living with and deeply loving someone that is in constant pain might be the harder job. Laurie handles all of life with incredible grace. When you look at Laurie, you see the reflection of Jesus.

Now that I have introduced you to these ladies, I will tell you that my conversations about them is ongoing. I talk about the good, the not so good, the bad, the painful, the heart breaking things that I have seen throughout the years in relationship with them. I listen as I am encouraged to learn from them, to honor them, to challenge them, to keep them in my life.

The conversation is with the Maker of us all. I keep coming back to my Father in gratitude for having these ladies in my life. I love them deeply and I'm fairly sure that they love me too.

This week in my Sunday School class we are looking at Philippians 1. Though we won't get to verse 19, as I read over it, I was brought back into my conversation with God. I know that through these ladies' prayers and influence on my life..."and through the help given me by the Spirit of JesusChrist, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance."

I am blessed by God to have these ladies, but also that He is continually putting more God-honoring women in my life. I am thankful and I continue to rejoice because I have so much to learn.

The Treadmill, a Skateboard and Making Spiritual Progress

As I was getting ready to walk on the treadmill this morning, I was thinking about how beautiful it was outside. It was a cold, crisp day. Even a little crunchy since we had sleet, ice and snow overnight. I was very excited that even as I was pushing myself to exercise I would still be able to enjoy the view from the garage where the treadmill calls home. When I stepped up on the treadmill, got snapped on and start to walk, I looked up and out the windows to lose myself in the beauty of God's creation. This is what I saw.

What? How in the world did those windows get that dirty? I immediately stopped the treadmill to do what had to be done.

So much better! This little incident reminded me of something that happened about a month ago. Gene came in from the garage with the unbearable news that our treadmill had died. I couldn't believe it. We have only owned it for 15 years. But unlike a great number of treadmills that become glorified clothes racks, we actually use ours. All the time. I was depressed. How was I going to lose all that baby fat from our adoption of Noelle 5 years ago? This couldn't be happening. So I moped around for a week or so. That dead hunk of metal in the garage was never far from my mind. I certainly couldn't exercise outside. When the temperature drops below 35 degrees this body doesn't go outside to exercise. 

Eventually I decided to go use the philosophy that I live by concerning things that don't work. "If it is already broken, how much damage can I possibly do if I try to fix it myself." On my way to the treadmill, I picked up my bag of tools and set out to conquer. Gene had told me that it was still making noise but that the belt wasn't moving. I turned it on and listened for a minute to try to decipher the problem. As I was listening to the whine of the motor I looked down to discover what had "broken" our treadmill. Crammed under the belt was a skateboard. I am no mechanical genius but even I could figure out that with a skateboard blocking the belt it was unlikely to run. When I removed the offending blockage the treadmill was once again doing what it was made to do. And Gene is back to using it as his excuse for allowing himself an extra scoop of ice cream. "I ran on the treadmill!" 

I am very thankful for our treadmill. Gene runs on it, I walk on it. We keep going. When I took the time to figure out why it wasn't working, I discovered that it was an obstacle easily removed from the path. Now we are moving again.

There are so many things that block our path to spiritual progress in becoming fully devoted followers of Jesus Christ. If there is something that is blocking your way, I challenge you. Take some time. Evaluate the obstruction. Pray for "eyes to see." Move that junk out of the way. If it is too big to do alone, find a friend, counselor or pastor that will help you to get past the barrier to a more intimate relationship with Jesus. You will be a more healthy person and you will be doing what you were made for.

Hebrews 12: 1-2a

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..."

Speaking of Exercise, here is an oportunity to exercise being mission minded:

http://milesformuia.blogspot.com/

Peggy and her husband, Rick are sweet friends that we met in China. Our families were in a group that traveled together to get our daughters. 

The NFL, The Blind Side and God's Mercy to Me

I really like the movie The Blind Side. It is the story of a high school age boy that has no family. Through different circumstances he gets to attend a private school, becomes a part of a family, plays football, and eventually goes to college and then plays in the NFL. This is the true story of Michael Oher. The movie is incredible. One of my favorite lines in the movie is when Leigh Ann Tuohy, played by Sandra Bullock is encouraging Michael, as the left tackle, to protect the quarterback. 

Leigh Anne: "This team is your family Michael. When you look at him(the quarterback) you think of me, how you have my back. Are you going to protect your family Michael?"

Michael Oher: "Yes ma'am."

At the beginning of the movie you hear an explanation of the position that Michael plays : "The left tackle's job is to protect the quarterback from what he can't see coming. To protect his blind side." A left tackle has to train to be strong, to be wise, to know when to go forward and when to pull back in order to protect the quarterback. He must understand when to tackle the opponent and when to stand guard and be watchful. It is long and hard work that takes daily discipline to be successful. It is rarely recognized by football fans.

There have been times that I have wondered about my life. While growing up in a family of eleven and mostly going unnoticed I wondered, "Is this all there is to my life?" In college and in the early years of our marriage I wondered again, "Is this what my life will be like?" As I became a young mother of two in diapers I was pretty sure that my life was all about feeding, changing diapers, and doing that all over again day after day. As my two older children grew I have had many jobs outside of our home, some paid, most not. Still there were times when the question came back, "God, Is this what my life is supposed to be about?" Please don't misunderstand, I love my husband and I love my children, more than words could ever express. I have given my life to loving and serving them and hopefully a few other people throughout my years. I just have wondered if my life so far has really made a difference.

Several weeks ago I was asked by a friend, "What exactly is it that you do?" To be honest I was stunned. I was completely at a loss for words. I said nothing, but that question has haunted me. What is it that I do? What is my life about? Though I have talked to my husband about this, and he has been very encouraging, still I couldn't find the answers that I felt that I needed. This week in the midst of having the flu I had one of those moments when I felt as if God smacked me on the back of the head and spoke in that still small voice, "Kat, do you still not get it?" Being sick had nothing to do with this revelation, but being quiet and still had everything to do with getting the answer that I have been seeking for years. "What is my God-ordained job? Why did He put me here? What is it that I do?"


Are you curious? Have you figured it out?


My job, my purpose is to be a left tackle. A left tackle for my family, for my friends, for my church family. I am to protect the people around me. To see what is coming. To recognize when danger is coming. To protect the "blind side."


Many years of spiritual gift assessments have helped me to understand the gift that God has given me to see things that may or may not be seen by others. I have never thought much about the reason that God would give me this ability.


My husband, Gene is a pastor. If there is anyone who needs a left tackle, it is a pastor. God has called me to be the "left tackle" for this "chosen man of God." That just gets me excited. Gene needs me. I protect his blind side.


My son, my daughter-in-law, my daughters, my grandchild, my friends and church family all need a left tackle in their lives and I want to be the one that God entrusts with that calling. I may not be the smartest or strongest, or most eloquent player on the field, but I am in the game. I need to be training hard to recognize the difference between the temporary and the eternal, to be so trained in God's ways that I will see when danger is ahead.


I have a more clear understanding of what I am to be doing now. I know that I will not be able to protect from every painful, dangerous, or devastating thing that comes but I am going to give all that I have to fulfill the calling that God has graciously placed on my life.


"Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart." 2 Corinthians 4: 1

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4: 18

Backyard Treasure

We have buried Wisdom 
In the backyard of our souls
Exchanged it for information
Available every where we go

We want to know why
And who and where
Forgetting about Wisdom 
That is waiting there

Information is here and now
It's microwaved
But it is already old then dead
Thirty seconds after it has been saved

Information is televised, 
Publicized, sanitized
It is what I cling to 
To verify that I am still alive...

All the while stealing my life

Wisdom is slow, It is deep
It gives life as it flows
It goes deeper and causes my heart to grow
Compassion, love, and truth are the treasure it bestows

Wisdom is not flashy
It seeks no display
It teaches love and patience 
And seeing more than my way

Wisdom is solid and ever true
It is not dependent
On what I do

It is the Living Treasure we've buried
In the back yard of our souls

But still...

I don't want what can remake me
I crave what fascinates me
There's no time for second guesses
Being still just distresses...
Me
'Cause I might see
That I've been wrong