Red Eyes and Drippy Noses

I had a sweet friend send this picture to me last week. I so appreciated her insight into the path that grief takes. It is a long and winding road that takes turns that you don't expect. 

I am humbled that so many people have voiced the same sentiments. 

However, yesterday I was asked how I was doing. To which I replied, "Not good." I always assume that if someone cares enough to ask they want the truth when I answer. To my amazement this person then said, "Aren't you about over this yet." When I was able to speak again I simply said, "No. No I am not." 

My Mom went to be with Jesus a week and a half ago and I am not even beginning to get over it. I am not getting over that I no longer can call and hear her voice on the phone. I am not getting over that for as long as I am on this earth I will not see her again. I am not even a little bit over seeing my Dad grieve over the woman that he loved and was married to for 58 years. I am not over seeing my 6 brothers and two sisters weeping. I am not over seeing grandchildren and great-grandchildren crying for their grandmother. I am also very sure that I may never get over watching my Mom take her last breath, watching the doctor come in and pronounce her death. I am not over leaving my Daddy, driving out of the driveway and hearing ask me to come back soon. 

I know that people say and do things when they are uncomfortable that they really don't mean. I understand. I wish that we all could know and say the right thing at the right time. But there will always be times when we leave a conversation wishing we could just pull a blanket over our heads and hide for a millennium or so. 

Perhaps the best thing to do in situations like this is to...
Weep with those who weep.
Celebrate with those who celebrate. 
And in times when a follower of Christ goes home, to realize that from one moment to the next, for family and friends the two emotions can and do exist together. 

I am celebrating my mom's homecoming but I am also grieving. 

I have had several people from my church say these things to me as they try keep from crying:
"My mother died 50 years ago and I still miss her." 
"My mom went to heaven in 1997, I still cry."
"My dad has been with Jesus for 20 years and I sometimes still find myself going to the phone to call before I remember." 
"My parents passed away years ago and very few days go by that I don't think of them and feel that pain."

These are the things that are salve to my heartache. 

I don't know when this will get easier. Please be patient with me. Please share your grief with me. We can cry together and then laugh with each other at our red eyes and drippy noses.