Tonight I Mourn

"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,...

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance..."  Ecclesiates3:1,2a,4

Yesterday my Mom went home to be with Jesus. 

After years of pain Mom is now in the presence of God laughing and dancing in the streets of Heaven. I am so happy for her. 

But tonight I am weeping and mourning. In the past few hours the things that have caught me off guard and turn me into a torrent of pain and tears have been things that I didn't see coming... 

Calling my parents home phone number and looking down to see the caller ID scream at me... Mom

To see a gift that had been lost in the busyness of the holidays with a tag that had my mom's handwriting, To Kat Love Mom and Dad...

To walk in their home to see her chair empty...

Tonight I am a mess. And while I am rejoicing with complete assurance that my Mom is with Jesus, I am also overwhelmed with grief that I will never call that number again and hear my Mom's voice answer. I am weeping that I will never again get another Christmas present with her handwriting. I am grieved that I will never again walk in my parents house to see her sitting at the kitchen table shelling peas. 

Tonight, and likely for many days to come it is my time to weep and mourn, all the while knowing that it is my Mom's time to laugh and dance.

I love you, Mom. And in the blink of an eye I will see you again.