Confessions of an Unholy Writer

There are many ways that I have grown in my faith.
I believe that walking by faith in Christ Jesus is a continuous, life-long process. I have not arrived at perfect holiness, no where near it. But I long for, I hope for, I pray for, and I strain toward becoming "holy as God is holy."
Even as I see progress in my life, I have recently become aware of an area that is sorely lacking in holiness.
As many, hundreds, even thousands of believers across the world have taken up a figurative pen and begun to write words of encouragement to send to the world through blogs, I too, am scripting words to a webpage. But, of late I have been evaluating my own writing and the motivation behind the words that I publish on this blog.
Why do I write?
Is it to encourage? Is it to let my heart be seen? Is it to "out loud" process life as it happens?
Or are there unholy things at work as I put words to the page?
"I wonder how many people will read my writing?" "Will this person or that person read my thoughts?" "What do people think of what I write?"...etc.
I am not saying that those questions are wrong in and of themselves, it is just that I am wondering why does it matter to me?
Am I honest in my words? Do I write for selfish reasons? Do I write for attention?
I am struggling through these thoughts. I so long to be a person of integrity in all that I do and say. I am struggling through my humanity. I know that as long as I walk this earth there will be times when I fail miserably, but in the deepest part of my heart and soul I long for holiness.
I never want to lean on the "well I'm only human" because I know that God has made me to desire so much more.
I pray, dear Jesus keep me moving closer to You and farther away from the sinful me that wants to be seen and heard.
I will continue to write, but I will be checking my motivation more often before I push the publish key.